“I can’t take it anymore. The two of them are in there fighting AGAIN. I’m sick and tired of being everyone’s maid, including yours. No one in this damn house appreciates anything I do. The dog won’t stop whining and barking. The dishwasher won’t start AGAIN. The bills are all overdue. We’re down to the last piece of bread in the house. My head feels like there are burning knives being plunged into it. And I don’t care if they all kill each other in there! I just want to get in the car and run away. I. CAN’T. TAKE. IT. ”
This was the greeting my poor hubs received one day last week after he pulled in the driveway from work. Although, quite honestly, it could have been any day of any week. To add insult to injury, I looked the part of a crazed lunatic as well. There I was, sitting on the front porch (still) in my pajamas, sporting a lovely bed head look and I’m fairly certain my eyes may have rolled into the back of my head at some point.
At the end of my tirade, I screamed, “Aren’t you so glad you came home to THIS?”. And promptly burst into tears.
My dear, patient hubs looked at me and said, “Just don’t run away without me”. Damn, I love that man.
Now, I won’t pretend this happened overnight. Hubs and I have known each other since kindergarten. We were high school and college sweethearts. That all goes right out the window when you come back together as adults. So, when we were first married (and for several years after), Hubs thought he had to fix things if I was on the war path. That’s what men do; they fix things. Slowly, he realized that I just needed to GET IT OUT of my system and I would be fine. I think he is still amazed, though, at my ability to scream, holler and let the tears fly then go back to being a (somewhat) stable wife and Mom shortly thereafter. Frankly, he’s not the only one. But, hey…sometimes we just need to let it fly…
….which brings us to this past Monday. Hubs and I were set to leave at 7:00 am for DD’s surgery. I stumbled out of bed at 5:00, showered and dressed, THEN woke 2 kids to get ready for school. Hubs rolled out at 6:20 and announced he needed to get in the shower right in the middle of kids getting in and out and ready for school. Mind you, the kids and I have the morning routine down to a science. It may actually be the only time we run efficiently in our house. Ten extra minutes of sleep is a powerful motivator. But, I digress…
The screaming and yelling began at 6:30. Dog ran for the bed and teenagers ran for cover. Only this time, it wasn’t their lunatic mother on a tirade. Oh, no…dear, sweet, patient Hubs was yelling like the roof was coming down. At 6:50, I was ready to leave with DS for school when Hubs yelled (loudly) from the room across the house, “If you don’t take him right this second, I’m getting in my truck and leaving without you.” Wait, what? All kinds of nasty responses filtered through my mind, but I kept quiet. We scrambled for the car. I’d like to pretend I wasn’t angry…furious even…but, I was.
Then it hit me. Wasn’t Hubs entitled to his own craziness once in awhile? Sure, there were a hundred arguments on the tip of my tongue. But, were they worth it? Not really. Because sometimes marriage means a little (or a lot) of craziness. It means letting the other person spew and vent when the reality might be they are scared and nervous, or sad or any number of other things. It means saying “Just don’t go without me”.
I was back home and waiting at 7:00am on the dot. My Mom had arrived to take my DD to school. And the kicker…as I sat and chatted with Mom, Hubs was still getting ready. To my astonishment, I held my tongue even then. And as we pulled out of the driveway, I reached over for his hand and squeezed it tight. No words necessary.